I'm Pretty Sure Every Mazda Protegé Is Still On The Road: Quick Jump
Often, the world sucks. But then you turn on a MadTV sketch and laugh about it, and suddenly, the outlook sucks a little less, and you realize it’ll be okay after a few deep breaths.
Memories remind you of better times. And cars can often serve as a trigger. A good date. A drive-in movie. A cackle because Norm Macdonald told another raucous joke through your double-din aftermarket radio. And somehow, I am still seeing Mazda Protegés every-fucking-where.
Usually these roam the roads painted in actual colors, rather than the usual white, gray, or black. That makes cars a little interesting. Japanese compacts built at the turn of the millennium also exhibit exceptional quality. That makes them a little more interesting. If their drivers plaster stickers with left-leaning political slogans and witty one-liners all over the rear hatch, that elevates their appeal. And for some reason, it’s always a fucking Mazda Protegé.
This isn’t me being down on it. It’s a welcome change from all of the Subarus I see with much of the same traits I just described. And they’re often newer. Protegés bowed out in 2003 to make room for the Mazda3.
And actually, the Mazda Protegé in its last years was rather brilliant. Car And Driver summarized this when they drove it in 1999:
The broad expanses are broken up by golf-ball-dimple accents, though, and that’s worth a smile. Then, after a few hours of driving, you begin to notice how the shadows break over the sculptured dashtop, over the driver’s airbag cover, and even around the windshield pillars. As the sun moves to different windows, and as the rays slope lower at day’s end, yet more design subtleties rise to your notice.
It’s lovely to read something that hasn’t been influenced by A.I. or Grammarly. I embrace imperfections in my writing these days, one of many reasons why I started this Substack. It serves as means to escape and a place of refuge. Until Sped becomes anachronistic mainstream media, I will treat it as originally intentioned.
It also means I won’t spare the language when it’s appropriate. Because it’s hilarious to keep seeing Mazda Protegés on every street corner. At the park close to where I live, there’s an older lady who pulls up regularly in her yellow Mazda Protegé for her daily walks. And yes, her car fits the brief: vibrant color, stickers, the whole sha-bang.
Back then, a Mazda Protegé like the one C/D drove topped out at around $16k, or about $32k when adjusted for inflation. Today, that’s about the same as the most expensive Honda Civic that isn’t a Type R. Times really haven’t changed when it comes to small cars.
But the market has. Small cars have been killed off left and right due to small profit margins. You can no longer buy a new automobile with a walk-out price of less than $20k. It didn’t used to be that way.
I suspect this is why the Mazda Protegé is a survivor. It is a total and complete vehicle that leaves little to be desired if you can overcome the safety features that have become standard equipment in cars today. If Apple CarPlay is a must, the aftermarket will cater to your minimal tech needs.
Right now it doesn’t scare me. But I wonder if I will be in my retirement years crouching in callous fear if that yellow Protegé lurks round the corner, like Freddy Krueger in a Nightmare On Elm Street sequel.
Only time will tell.
-TA