Summer Solstice Recap: Vibe Check

We’re three weeks into what’s likely the hottest summer on record. Thank goodness I’m two hours north of Phoenix in the mountains, I can only imagine it’s a scorcher right now. My aunt tells me, “Feel free to come visit! Just not for two more months.” Damn.

Anyway, summers won’t get me down. I have a convertible for this occasion, primarily motivated by the fact that I couldn’t go anywhere during Covid. So now I have a forever vacation. That’s the feeling you should convey through the summer and into fall. If you’re a football fan, then you know there’s no greater excitement than looking forward to your favorite sport coming into season. That doesn’t mean good things aren’t happening now. The Bugatti Tourbillon you see above was specifically launched on June 20. That’s no accident. Just because you don’t have $4 million on hand to buy one doesn’t mean you can’t dream, right?

So let’s go in with that mindset and cut off some negative energy, shall we?

1st Shift: I Want A Chiron

We’re sticking with Bugatti for a hot minute, because every time there’s a new speed machine from the French, the world stops. New cars like this don’t come very often. It’s a well-known fact that Bugatti lost money on every Veyron sold in the 2000s and early 2010s. Primarily, that’s down to the extravagant costs of development as the company was setting out to produce the ultimate car that pushed technology as far as it could at the time.

Bugatti didn’t quite hit the same fate with the sequel supercar that is the Chiron. By then, brand value had built up considerably and it had a blueprint of how it could build the ultimate successor. So it had essentially the same W-16 engine, the same four turbochargers, all-wheel-drive system, ten radiators, the top speed wing, outrageous price tag, and just as outrageous maintenance costs — the latter two of which don’t matter to those who buy it.

The Tourbillon (pronounced Toor-bee-yon) goes to new heights with an advanced hybrid system that aids a brand new V-16 engine, deleting turbochargers. Yet power jumps from 1,479 to 1,775 horsepower. You can get all the details from the site of my latest gig.

The part gets me most excited is the fact that the steering wheel moves, but the center airbag doesn’t. So the result is a beautiful concoction that you can watch over and over again. Not that I will justify the price but I can see the appeal. Again, dreaming.

All Tourbillons are pre-sold because there’s more millionaires than you think. Which means the Chiron is coming up for sale more frequently. Not that it ever depreciated. But the best part is while there’s only 250 cars that will be built of the latest Bugatti, the Chiron saw 500 cars built and sold. So it’s that much more attainable.

You aren’t missing out on much if you choose another Bugatti. It’s about the exclusivity and the fierce power and the exotic materials lined inside the cabin and how it feels special.

If I were to be choosy though, it would be the Chiron. It’s the Terminator 2, the Aliens, the Shrek 2 of cars, the rare instance that the sequel is better than the original. It’s a refinement of the original formula that takes it to new heights, resulting in at least one iteration that can hit 300 miles per hour.

It’s an easy sell for me.

2nd Shift: Green Knows Best

The best color to apply to any color is green — change my mind. Actually don’t. And I’ll tell you why.

Lookatthepicture. Lookatthepicture. Lookatthepicture.

Toyota doesn’t typically style aesthetically beautiful cars. It’s gotten better in recent years but you remember the brand for being bland. Less so with the GR86.

I would argue that Aston Martin started the trend, even if green Astons rarely appear in James Bond films. They make some of the most achingly beautiful cars in existence, and then paint it green.

Anyway, the Toyota GR86 in question is the Hakone Edition, a visual package that comes with small mechanical upgrades to boost its appeal. For the price, its closest rival remains the Mazda MX-5 Miata convertible. It’s a sad reality but sports cars are far and few when it comes to a lower price bracket. The next cheapest convertible sports car comes from Porsche, a $70,000 alternative.

So even if it’s not as good as the Miata, the fact that it exists at all is something to celebrate. And to prove that someone at Toyota has a soul, painting it green enlivens its appeal as the useable sports car. That’s worth celebrating.

3rd Shift: Morons Get Rid Of More Cheap Cars

A report came out on July 11 that Nissan will discontinue the Versa, which has held on as one of the cheapest new cars you can buy. Other cars have been checking out of the bargain basement such as the Fiat 500 and Mitsubishi Mirage, leaving the Nissan compact to stand more and more alone.

Other cars that will stand with it aren’t that much more expensive but the idea of buying a car for less than $20,000 is gone. Still, viable options exist like the Hyundai Venue and Kia Forte. The refreshed Chevrolet Trax is the bee’s knees.

You know what else is the bee’s knees? The Nissan frickin’ Versa. The new one is excellent. Car And Driver called it “the definition of cheap and cheerful, and in the world of good small cars, it’s virtually the last one standing.” Shame.

So buy one before it’s too late. And maybe somebody start a petition to save small cars before I do? Just putting it out there. In the meantime, I’ll pour one out for the cheapskates out there.

Reverse Shift: Don’t Read Jalopnik

It’s gone off the deep end. For years, it made for affable pleasure reading that educated you on stuff you didn’t know about. But when your buddy is the former Editor-In-Chief and he says don’t apply as a Writer to that site, that’s a major flag. Now it’s part of a greedy conglomerate welcoming the rise of AI and doesn’t give a shit about writers, prompting some to start an epic new site that I wholly support.

So what’s on the site now? Deprecation here, deprecation there, deprecation everywhere. Go to hell, Collin. Jeremy Clarkson will have more brownie points than you. The whole thing was funny when roasting callous Neo-Nazis that retreat to their rental box trucks but every day? Come on, man, don’t turn into the hater twenty-four seven.

But my biggest gear to grind is headlines and bylines. I’m someone who’s happy with one or the other but not both. And Jalopnik hit rock bottom by writing the same thing twice:

Read something this weekend but not Jalopnik. You don’t need the bad vibes.